Close family and friends know, but it's just recently that I started being more open with others about my diagnoses with PTSD from the car accident I was in several months ago. Before this happened to me I always assumed that PTSD was something that was only diagnosed from war/combat. What I didn't realize was that it can happen from other types of traumatic events (see diagram to the left). I am a firm believer that God gives us life events, seasons, and circumstances to use for His Glory and lift others up who may have gone/going through something similar. So I'm going to share with you what's been going on.
Shortly after I was hit in a freeway collision I started to develop symptoms that would eventually lead to my diagnosis. I was anxious, short fused, I has having severe nightmares, just simple noises like Carson playing cars or trains and having them crash together would trigger these feelings and I would have panic attacks. The first time I drove myself on the freeway after the accident was the worst. It felt like there was an elephant on my chest, I couldn't breath, shaking uncontrollably and my instinct was to just pull over on the side of the freeway and cry. I didn't, but I did take the first exit off the freeway pull over and spent about 30 minutes crying uncontrollably.
I know this can sound dramatic and for someone that hasn't experienced this kind of anxiety it may be hard to understand. Fear, unrelenting anxiety that I couldn't shut off. As a mom I love to take my kids to the zoo, Sea World, and do other outings and this new change was debilitating. I could only drive on streets, I had mastered every side road here in East County to get to where I needed to go without getting on the freeway. I knew I needed to get help.
More importantly I knew that God was in control, and that He was going to get me through this.
After speaking to my Dr. during treatments from my injuries I was referred to a Therapist who after several extensive tests diagnosed me officially with PTSD.
First thoughts I felt when hearing those words out of her mouth was broken and embarrassed.
I got in the car, prayed and the first verse that came to me was Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
It was right there and then that I decided I was going to stop letting fear have control over me and trust and know that God is in control and is with me.
Feeling anxious? Struggling with self doubt, worry or fear of the unknown? Here are a few verses I read daily to help me overcome PTSD:
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19
“But now, this is what the Lord says…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
Currently I am still struggling to drive on the freeway. I can go for short distances but it is not something I'm going to give up on.
Here are a few things I've been doing while in the car to help ease anxiety and might help you too:
1. I have a playlist of worship music with some of my favorite christian songs and I sing along.
2. I pray every single time I get in the car before I head to my destination.
3. Deep Breaths
4. I remind myself often (and sometimes say this out loud) "God is in control, God's got this. He will lead me through."
5. Sometimes put some essential oils on, one in particular called "stress away".
6. I take small short trips on the freeway slowly inching myself a little bit further reach time.
As a Christian I have struggled with this PTSD because in my rational mind I KNOW God is in control, and if it's His will it will be done. But when that anxiety creeps in it's like a button that is very hard to turn off. I share this with you all because it's a daily choice to put your faith and trust in Jesus.
What are some of the other things that have helped me on this journey to overcome PTSD?
1. Spend more time in my Bible. It's how I jump start everyday. It keeps me centered, and my heart postured to seek Jesus.
2. Prayer: It's crucial.
3. Exercise: It really is a stress relief and mood booster. This past month I did a 31 day #PushPlay Everyday Challenge and shared it on my Facebook page. Getting that daily exercise in I really felt my stress decrease and my anxiety lessen greatly.
4. Eating Healthy: We are only given one body, why not take better care of it?
5. Grace: I remind myself of grace every single day.
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
6. Accept Help: This is something I struggle with naturally. I have a hard time asking for help or accepting help. In this process I've learned to accept help by my wonderful family and friends who have supported me through this.
I'd like to take a second (which is not nearly enough), and thank all those that have been there for me through this season. The prayers, hugs, messages, conversations, and support means more to me than I could ever say. I love you and incredibly thankful for you. A huge thank you to my Husband who has been incredibly supportive, understanding and patient with me. Thank you Jesus for these amazing people in my life.
Have you been struggling with PTSD, anxiety or depression? If you would like someone to talk to or have a prayer request I would love to encourage you and pray with you.
Have a blessed day,
